Sink or Swim

As there are a zillions of dating rules out there, its really hard to know what really works or what doesn’t.  Though trivial as it may seem, but once we’re on our way to meet someone over dinner, we can’t help but wish that we could have brushed up on some do’s and dont’s.  So,  I gathered them and came up with the final four which we can take into heart a bit more serious than the others.

1.  Always google your date beforehand.

I am to admit that I have never done this but some of my friends had.  I say that this can be ignored as what if they our date doesn’t have much that online presence, is that a negative factor?  I don’t think so.  But maybe once you’re dating you can get your date to increase their online presence.

2.  Never date a coworker.

Now, this was the one I almost did.  But somewhat our relationship never went into full speed.  My closest buddy in the office went out with three, yes three, of our coworkers.  But the good thing was those three worked in different departments so they really had no time to scrutinize each other.  I see no big harm in this as long as you can separate work issues from your issues as a couple.  What if you can’t really help but like that person? Don’t cancel your dates because your partner took over your project or you disagreed on a thought.  I’ll rephrase this as you can date a coworker, but maybe not in the same department or floor.

3.  Wait for the guy to say the I love you.

Now, I am one of those who still believe in old-world chivalry but I find no big harm if you girls say you love us first.  It’s not like when someone says that they love you that it they want to marry you asap.

4.  Don’t break up over the phone.

Well, what if there’s no way you can tell them that you want to end things between the two of you?  Then, breaking up over a call maybe the last resort.  And for me, please do call, at least, instead of texting that you’re not going to see us again.  If it’s a fling, maybe it will work.  But if you guys are in a serious,long-term  relationship, have the decency and the guts to meet your partner in person.

There, these are the ones that maybe we can cut off some slack and let them fly outside the window.  It all depends on the situation in the end.

These are top-secret questions that wives may have been dreading to ask their husbands, operative word, maybe.  So, to give a somewhat enlightenment, have posted answers to some of the issues concerning household life.

1.  Watch a basketball game or go shopping with the wife?

Answer: Watch the game

Reason:  Women shop longer because they want more style in their clothes than us.  It is for this reason that one has to wait patiently while she chooses the best style for her.  Besides, giving them the time to shop by themselves is our time to to let enjoy the day.

2.  Have sex last thing at night or first thing in the morning?

Answer:  Do it before sleeping

Reason:  It is at night when the wife usually stops thinking about the kids and the house - and starts thinking of the husband.

3.  Wash or fold?

Answer:  Washing

Reason:  Folding requires skills while washing is all about directions.  Bottom line, it is easier.

4.  Give up sex or gain control of the tv remote for a year?

Answer:  Give up the damn remote!

Reason:  Obvious.

5. Have a bigger tv or a better computer?

Answer:  A bigger wide-screened TV

Reason:  War movies look better on a big screen tv.

6.  Have the wife’s parents or your parents move in?

Answer: Neither, really.

Reason:  Things would be complicated, as they are not already.

7.  Watch a sexy movie with the wife or by yourself?

Answer: With the wife

Reason:  That way, she’s right there for the hanky-panky after the movie.

8.  Have a night out with the guys at a steak joint or a romantic date with the wife ?

Answer:  Romantic date with the wife in a fancy restaurant

Reason:  The friends won’t have sex with me afterwards.

9.  Having boring sex ever night or a mind-blowing sex once a week?

Answer:  Mind-blowing sex once a week

Reason:  If it’s really mind-blowing sex, it should last a man all week.

10.  Relive your wedding or the honeymoon?

Answer:  Honeymoon

Reason:  A stressful party or a relaxing vacation?  No explanation necessary.

There, these are based on my point of view and a couple of my pals.  You can contradict if you want and I am not labeling all men.  Just speaking in general terms.  Men are different in their views but one thing remains common, we love our wives like there’s no tomorrow.

When put in certain situations, men can be a bit careful about careful around the ladies.  Questions like, ” Do these jeans make me look fat?” or “What if I try this new hairstyle?” from our better halves can set the alarm bells ringing.  The simple excuse is that men don’t want to get into trouble.  Men want to feel like authorities, and the more they say, the more information women have to analyze.  If you want men to open up, validate the answers by simple saying, “That’s interesting.”

I was going to make something really long and boring today until I’ve decided to make this a little bit more interesting.

This article is going to sound like what most men would sound like and that is being straight to the point. So here I am with some facts.

Did you know that a swelling 40 percent of men aren’t interested in sex the way men normally would be? It is a fact, and is a growing number. It should be alarming not because there is a sudden change in behaviour in most men, but it is because of the stress acquired by their respective jobs these days that are doing this. These are men aged 35 and above, men who have wives who won’t even cheat. So go figure.

Guys aren’t all about sex. As we can see from the fact above, there’s more to guys than just sex and sports. We are interested in other things, too. But we have a very diverse way of delivering things and choosing options. Think of the word: simplicity. We like it plain and very, very simple.

Not all skinny women appeal to us. That is the most forlorn myth in the field of attraction for us men. We find smart women sexier than bombshells that can’t make decisions by themselves. For one, it’s again, not all about sex. Because you’ll still be hanging with that girl for a little while longer than that so you have to appreciate more than just her face but what will make her still attractive once she puts on a few pounds.

We are not complicated; we are just built differently. Once you figure out the difference between both, you just might want to try harder to understand how simple we are. Yes, we are dumb sometimes, but its only because we’re not playing smart enough to guess what goes on your minds. Even if we like you more than our other girlfriends from the past, you trying to play too many mind games on us will eventually tire us out and turn us off.

Independent women rock our socks, but don’t overdo it. Because we like women who can take care of themselves. But at the same time, someone who’s willing to submit by a tad bit. You know — if we get you something because it’s your birthday, don’t tell us that you can get your own? That is a major turn-off and it somehow shows us that you don’t want to depend on us – which makes us feel bad about ourselves. Remember our ego is our best friend. You make ego angry, you make the male shop for the other 10 percent in someone else.

We HAVE the capacity to love. This is the tricky part though. Love comes with respect– by that I mean someone who doesn’t deal with double-standards and someone who knows how to trust her man. A lady will get the respect and love she deserves when this becomes evident in a relationship. Sometimes it’s all about risks; you really can’t just pigeonhole us for being insensitive jerks that only want to get in your pants. You just might be surprised how we SIMPLY just want to be in your lives.

You wined her, dined her, and had taken her to places she has never been.  But, hold on, it’s not a done deal,yet.  When you ger up in the morning after a great night, there are still a few yet winning moves that will make it a done deal.

1.  Don’t get up just yet.

Ok, so you have stuff to do, work to go to, and so does she.  And it doesn’t mean that you should put your clothes on the moment you see streaks of sunlight beyond the curtains.  A Gerogia sex therapist claims that,”if you’re quick enough to leave the next morning, a woman feels like you either regret what happened the night before or can’t wait to get away from her”.  This therapist said that the key is to spend even 5-10 minutes cuddling in bed with assurances that you care.

2.  Pull a move tha that will make her feel sexy but does not spell a quickie in the morning.

She isn’t always going to be up for more action during the morning.  The author of The Complete Idiot’s guide to Amazing Sex advised that taking a shower together is a discreet yet effective message that you want another round.  This has a two-way effect, she will feel that she has all your attention and that you love her minus the clothes.

3.  Seal your next date.

A woman still worries that once you’ve had the dessert, you won’t see her anymore.  Instead of giving the normal, “I’ll call you later”, set another date.  A woman feels more vulnerable after having sex and needs reassurance that she is not a fling so, make her feel that she’s not one.

If she is special to you, make her feel that she is. And even if she isn’t the one. Be a gentleman and treat her with respect.  It takes two to tango, and don’t make an ungraceful exit from the dance floor becausef she has two left feet.

I know it’s not heart’s day but, it’s almost June. The month of June is named after the Roman Goddess, Juno - guardian goddess of marriage life, the wife of Jupiter. There is this legend that when you get married in June, you will have a married life blessed with happiness, thus coining the term, “June bride.”

Legend or not, why not make relationships work, any month of the year? Here are some easy and doable tasks to make it work.

1. Create an everyday ritual – When my girlfriend and I just started out, we often see each other at lunch time only. This way, we really made each moment special and before we part ways, I give her a kiss. This has become an after lunch ritual to us. You can do this in the morning before going out, arriving home at night or maybe, just like the 3-o-clock prayer habit.

2. Male chivalry is not yet dead – We all know that there are only two reasons why guys open the cars door for their girls. One, the car is new. Two, the girl is new. If you haven’t been doing this, try it out! Open the door for her, pull her chair (but warn her, because this is not a prank!) and last but not the least, also consider her opinions. It is not good to only rely on yourself and reject your partner’s decisions.

3. Call your partner on their weird bull crap names! - There is just some clumsy stuff that happens accidentally. I remember my first time in my girlfriend’s house. I dropped the saucer on my drink and broke it. I guess they can compare me to Archie Andrews. If a similar thing happened, call your partner, “clumsy oaf” but do it in a nice way. That way, both of you will just laugh it off and prevent awkwardness.

4. Do not be your partners everything – Vice versa. This will suck out all the romance if you just concentrate on your relationship. Do things together but also, get a life. Watch the game with your buddies, go out fishing with your father in law, and worship together with the entire clan. These sort of small activities have a lasting effect and won’t make you both the center of each other’s world.

5. Surprise, surprise and more surprises! – This is actually a make-your-partner’s-day-task. Who doesn’t want surprises? Of course, I meant it in a good way. I didn’t mean that, you tell your wife after your wedding day that you have two son’s with different mothers! Surprise them on your anniversaries, birthdays, or any special occasions. Better, make your surprise a day before or after. This way, it would really be a surprise!

6. Learn to stand down – We are not in the army wherein there is no retreat. This is the major cause of marriage divorces. Both the husband and the wife want to win. Something like, “Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.” We know that guy’s egos’ are high. We must learn to swallow our pride. It will make your life so much better at the end.

7.Reminisce and recreate – Nothing beats recreating your firsts; the first date, first honeymoon, first kiss and all other firsts. This will make both of you remember the good memories you had and will inspire you to create more firsts in the coming times. First impressions do last and when recreated, the magic will be created if not like the first time, it might be better.

Whether you are going to be a June bride or a [Insert Month Here] bride, always remember to put God first in whatever you do. This is one sure-fire way to a healthy loving relationship.